Hey friends. I hope this finds everyone well. I am doing alright. I have played hookie today from work and I don't care who knows it. lol. I had a real bad day yesterday and I made arrangements for someone to cover me today so I could have a moment to collect myself and my thoughts. I've not done a whole lot with my spare time but I slept in, well I fell back asleep since hubby forgot to turn off the alarm and it woke me up at 4:30. I got up and spent some time with him before he left but I laid on the couch and crashed. I probably could have done that all day. But, I didn't. The main thing I wanted to accomplish today was contacting my doctor. It is quite obvious to me now that I need to go back on my anti-depressant/anxiety medicine until I can learn to cope with a few things I have hanging over me right now. I've resisted some type of counselling for a long, long time now but I feel it's time to give it a whirl. But first thing is first. I have an appointment Monday with my doc to get a script for the medicine and I will talk with him about where to go for some counselling. I'm not a danger to myself or anyone or anything like that but I have lost my will I think. I am a whipped pup right now.
I haven't sewn in a few days. That bugs me. I keep hoping I'll get inspired and get my groove on but it's just not there for me right now. So, I live vicariously right now through you all on your blogs. lol. I'm especially impressed with Kris over at Quilted Simple. She is tearing it up already this year with projects. Her latest works have been vintage sheet quilts. Love the one she has posted on her blog right now. It's an awesome idea too. I tried to get hubby to take me to Goodwill the other day when we were right beside it but he was in a hurry to get back home so I let it go. Maybe tonight he'll take me. That's the only reason I go to thrift stores these days mainly is to look for fabric finds. And I don't get out often to do that. lol. But, I love to read all the blogs and couldn't for the life of me name a favorite right now. I just enjoy seeing what everyone else is doing and having that option available to me is one of the few joys I have to look forward to right now. So, keep being creative and keep posting those pics of your lovely items and finds.
Happy Stitching All,
Renee
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Phew, Where To Start?
First of all let me start by saying that I hope everyone has had a great new year so far. I am still shaking my head realizing that it is already January 10th. And here I thought I was going to be better at posting in this new year. Hmm. My bad. I have been reading though. Just not doing alot of comment posting. So please know that just because I haven't got anything much to say right now that I am still reading and following along to all of you out there in blog land that I have come to know and love.
Second, please let me take the time again to thank each and every one of you who do stop by and visit and hear what I have to say and see what I have to see. I realize it's not much but the comments and visitors that do take a peak mean the world to me. Thank you, Thank you. Please keep coming by. Sometimes this is just what a girl needs to perk her spirits a little. Lord only knows how many of us could probably use that right about now.
Third, I just am amazed at how much talent and get up and go that this little circle of blogging buddies I have has. I have to tell you, I'm a little jealous. No matter what my New Year's intent was, I have not been motivated to make anything much. First few days of the new year I was working on some little hearts. Just little stuffed hanging hearts. The fronts are patchwork and the backs are solid. I played with using lace for the first time and had some fun but wasn't thrilled. I made a couple of little pillows for that doll quilt I put together and believe they need thrown in the trash. lol. I just have to tell you, I have no confidence in my skills at all. If it's not perfect, I am convinced it belongs in the garbage. I can't get around that. I haven't had any sewing lessons EVER in life. Never used a sewing machine up until about three years ago. I know basically nothing and feel by now I ought to have the hang of it and be producing nicely sewn items or forget about it. Will I ever get it? Will I ever have confidence in my stuff? Anybody else have this problem? How do you handle that?
And last but not least, right now and probably since shortly after the first of the year, I have been in a funk. I was so looking forward to putting the holidays behind me and moving on and having a fresh start to a new year. I wanted to blog more, sew more, be more productive and find some joy and peace. At the rate I am going, I think I'm worse than I was towards the end of the year when things were like crazy hoppin' mad around here. Truth be told folks, I am scared that I am going to have to go back on my anxiety/depression medication and I totally hate that but I also know that both are starting to creep their ugly little heads back into my life with a vengeance and I cannot, will not allow myself to get out of hand feeling so scared and sad and wanting to cry all the time. It's like the panic attack Christmas Eve started a vicious little cycle for me. The worse part of it that concerns me is that I get so quick and ill tempered. I don't mean to be mean but it's like I have little time or use for nonsense and triffling. And sadly, I guess I am at the point where I make it very obvious when someone is annoying me. Not a good trait to have when working with the public. I've been praying everyday for the ability to make it through one more and that's not the kind of start I had planned for this year. I won't let it go on much longer before I see my doctor. They say counselling may help me deal with some reasons I am anxious and depressed but I don't do the sharing thing that well with folks like that. lol. That's what my blog is for. lol. Seriously, it is something I've considered but I just can't do it. I am not convinced anyone has the power to help me and they are only guessing at what the reasons are and could only possibly make me more of wreck than I already am. Please, if you all wouldn't mind, if you think of it say a little prayer for me regarding this problem. There are days I don't know if I can stand anymore. It scares me and I don't like being so weak. I wanna be like all of you guys, full of pep and gumption and making projects and living life.
On that note, I know kind of a downer, I am going to sign off. Sorry to be so long winded again today. I can't say or write anything quick. lol. It's all about detail. lol. Have a great weekend everyone. Happy Stitching.
Renee
Second, please let me take the time again to thank each and every one of you who do stop by and visit and hear what I have to say and see what I have to see. I realize it's not much but the comments and visitors that do take a peak mean the world to me. Thank you, Thank you. Please keep coming by. Sometimes this is just what a girl needs to perk her spirits a little. Lord only knows how many of us could probably use that right about now.
Third, I just am amazed at how much talent and get up and go that this little circle of blogging buddies I have has. I have to tell you, I'm a little jealous. No matter what my New Year's intent was, I have not been motivated to make anything much. First few days of the new year I was working on some little hearts. Just little stuffed hanging hearts. The fronts are patchwork and the backs are solid. I played with using lace for the first time and had some fun but wasn't thrilled. I made a couple of little pillows for that doll quilt I put together and believe they need thrown in the trash. lol. I just have to tell you, I have no confidence in my skills at all. If it's not perfect, I am convinced it belongs in the garbage. I can't get around that. I haven't had any sewing lessons EVER in life. Never used a sewing machine up until about three years ago. I know basically nothing and feel by now I ought to have the hang of it and be producing nicely sewn items or forget about it. Will I ever get it? Will I ever have confidence in my stuff? Anybody else have this problem? How do you handle that?
And last but not least, right now and probably since shortly after the first of the year, I have been in a funk. I was so looking forward to putting the holidays behind me and moving on and having a fresh start to a new year. I wanted to blog more, sew more, be more productive and find some joy and peace. At the rate I am going, I think I'm worse than I was towards the end of the year when things were like crazy hoppin' mad around here. Truth be told folks, I am scared that I am going to have to go back on my anxiety/depression medication and I totally hate that but I also know that both are starting to creep their ugly little heads back into my life with a vengeance and I cannot, will not allow myself to get out of hand feeling so scared and sad and wanting to cry all the time. It's like the panic attack Christmas Eve started a vicious little cycle for me. The worse part of it that concerns me is that I get so quick and ill tempered. I don't mean to be mean but it's like I have little time or use for nonsense and triffling. And sadly, I guess I am at the point where I make it very obvious when someone is annoying me. Not a good trait to have when working with the public. I've been praying everyday for the ability to make it through one more and that's not the kind of start I had planned for this year. I won't let it go on much longer before I see my doctor. They say counselling may help me deal with some reasons I am anxious and depressed but I don't do the sharing thing that well with folks like that. lol. That's what my blog is for. lol. Seriously, it is something I've considered but I just can't do it. I am not convinced anyone has the power to help me and they are only guessing at what the reasons are and could only possibly make me more of wreck than I already am. Please, if you all wouldn't mind, if you think of it say a little prayer for me regarding this problem. There are days I don't know if I can stand anymore. It scares me and I don't like being so weak. I wanna be like all of you guys, full of pep and gumption and making projects and living life.
On that note, I know kind of a downer, I am going to sign off. Sorry to be so long winded again today. I can't say or write anything quick. lol. It's all about detail. lol. Have a great weekend everyone. Happy Stitching.
Renee
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